Contrary to FNN (Fake News Network), God had nothing to do with the recent rescue of the three-year-old boy in the wilds of Craven County. This comes as a disappointment to those giving Him or Her false credit.
At the time God was in Florida hustling a deal with our President Donald Trump. Mr Trump is interested in developing the After Life and wanted some assurance that a truly worthy place awaits him.
God played a round of golf, shot in the 70s, and listened while Mr. Trump rattled on about Heavenly Trump Mansions in the sky- all while the boy remained lost.
In all humility, if that’s possible, God suggests the reflected glory He’s received go to those humans- the firefighters, the first responders, the police, the deputies, the forest rangers, the sailors, the Marines, the ordinary people, and any others He may be overlooking, who found the boy before exposure put him in a very early grave.
God regrets He had his hands full re-designing Heaven. When duty calls, duty calls.
John Phaup, New Bern